Dear Lady in 3C:

Yes, you unfortunately are the one that is "stuck" with the baby on the plane, despite being catty-corner behind me.  I'd like to point out the obvious fact that there are 4 toddlers between the ages of 1 and 3 that are already screaming on the plane.  You have to point out to me that I have brought an infant on the plane.  Thank you for making me self conscious about it.  I hope the toddler behinds you screams in your ear and pulls your hair, forcing you to apologize to the innocent baby in my sling.  I also appreciate the advice that you gave me to "stick a pacifier in her mouth to quiet her down" upon the initial descent into the Milwaukee area.  I'd like to stick a pacifier in your mouth to quiet you down.  XoXo, Shari and Elliott

Yes, I was that jerk, the jerk that brought a baby (yes, a 5 week old baby) on a plane.  Baby E had her first official long distance adventure.  Really, it was an adventure for me.  It was a gift to my Mother for her 60th birthday.  The adventure started as I attempted to use a public restroom with baby E in her sling (I used the My Baby Nest, which was awesome) - this turned out OK, seeing as though I hadn't yet been in an airplane bathroom, which is 1/4 of the size of the one I got to use on the ground.  Needless to say, I have a new appreciation for public restrooms.

So, how do you prepare to take a baby on the plane?  I had done some research that advised me to bring a bottle and feed her as we started to take off and as we started to land.  Now, for a baby that has not flown before, I would assume that there is some degree of overstimulation within the environment.   So, I had packed two bottles with cold breastmilk and I was ready to go.  With baby E, she does not like cold bottles, in fact, she hates them.  I choose to ignore this fact and I paid the price.  As we were taking off, I started to feed her and she went bananas.  So, I quickly hustled the bottle away and whipped out a fresh nipple.  After she realized that there was indeed too much stuff going on, she threw up.  Everywhere.  There were three and a half hours left on this flight.  I burped her and she promptly returned to feeding and she was quiet the remainder of inflight.  Now we get to my thank you letter above.  You can imagine the degree of fumes that are coming out of my ears as I experienced 3C's comments first hand.  I simply minded my P's and Q's and ignored her comments and for the record, I was already armed with pacifier in hand.

Note to self and lesson learned: Feed 1 hour prior to boarding and use a pacifier with cabin pressure changes.  Oh, and try to have the seat next to you empty.


Well, needless to say that Grandma was surprised and my entire family got to meet little baby E.  We even got to take a four generation picture since baby E was officially a girl.  All in all, it was an amazing trip.  I'm glad to be home, but it's good to know that you can always go home, even if it's just for five short days.

5 Weeks

Oh my stars, I can't believe my little girl is 5 weeks old today.  She's growing like a weed!  She's already about 10lbs (on my scale - which lies all the time, so accuracy is not guaranteed) and 24 inches long.  She's already 2 feet tall.  My goodness.

So, things are going well, Operation: Keep Ellie Awake All Day is slowly getting underway.  My problem is - I love watching her sleep, and I love watching her sleep on me.  She's so adorable, I know that I am impartial since it's my child...but seriously...adorable.  Things to help keep her awake include:

Her squishy elephant
Anything that makes noise
Her reflection in the mirror
Dad singing
Toddlers and Tiaras
Doggie kisses
Mom yelling at the dogs

Things that put her to sleep:

The SOOTHIE pacifier (which she only takes if she's nearly full and fussy and there's no other solution - she refuses any other brand)
Uncle Joe's Blanket
Keeping up with the Kardashians (puts me to sleep too)
Rocking in the chair
Her Carseat

She sleeps for about 1-2 hour naps during the day (we try this at least) and then 5-6 hour stretches still with our routine (woohoo!).  I can't tell how the doggies feel about her yet, she just kinda lies there and Sarge will be the curious one and Tank wants nothing to do with her (however, when I got up to get some cereal this morning, I returned to the couch to find them both lying next to her).  Either way, they are overall handling the adjustment pretty well, except for their significantly louder barking.  She's a sound sleeper and she could sleep through a Mack truck coming through the living room wall if she's in this position:

Now if only I can get her to do it for 7 hours straight...I told you, adorable.

Sleep Deprivation

When Baby E arrived, I doubted everyone that told me and warned me about sleep deprivation.  I said, I refuse for that to be us and my child will sleep through the night.  End. Of. Story.

Well, that's not the end of the story.  Not by far.  If you remember me posting about 3 weeks ago how Elliott slept through the night for 6 hours, that has since gone away.  We had a rough patch where she was waking up and feeding nearly every hour, on the hour, demanding (with this blood curdling cry) that she be fed.  She's just like her Mom.  My life gave new meaning to the words "Sleep Deprivation."  The words had new definitions in my dictionary that were sure to include things such as "you will run into walls when walking," "you will try and breastfeed your husband," "you will stand up and realize that she's not even crying," "you will put a diaper on your dog," and my favorite "you will breakdown, crying and not know what to do at 2:45am."

About week 2 1/2, I started to look for a solution.  You may think to yourself - "Really?!? a solution to a crying newborn?  This chick is delusional."  Yep, a solution.  So started my quest to find a fix to not getting ANY sleep.  This past Sunday, I think I found one.

No, it's not replacing milk for wine, vodka or spirits.

Elliott and I started a routine.  Step 1: wear out Elliott, keep her awake for as much of the day as I can.  Step 2: Around her 8 or 9pm feeding, I take her into the bedroom, lay her down (while she is crying....yes, I'm a terrible parent), get ready for bed myself, turn down all the lights so there is just a glimmer coming from the closet and feed her until she could suckle no more.  I imagine that God will forgive her for being so gluttonous.  I cuddle with her for 30 minutes to make sure she doesn't aspirate and lay her down in her bassinet.

She sleeps for 5 hours straight.

See above paragraph, repeat.  Another 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep for the last 4 days...each.  From 9pm-2am, 5 glorious hours of glorious, beautiful sleep.

Ahhhh.